What Do You Do For Self-Care? With Tracey for #UniMentalHealthDay

Feb 18, 2015
4 min read

We extend our thanks to Tracey for her guest blog for #UniMentalHealthDay on 18th February 2015. The event is co-ordinated by the University Mental Health Advisers Network (UMHAN) and promotes the disclosure of mental health issues to reduce stigma and increase access to support.

One of Diverse Learners tweets about self-care

This year, the theme for University Mental Health and Wellbeing Day is Choosing to Disclose

Tracey accesses study skills tuition and mentoring support funded by Disabled Student Allowances (DSA) from Diverse Learners to support her to re-frame her thoughts / manage the impact of depression and anxiety on her daily and academic life.

A vital part of our support is promoting self-care and emphasising the importance of maintaining daily tasks: eating, drinking, exercise, getting outside and talking to others.

We also encourage, praise, and reassure to help build confidence and raise self-esteem, which in turn can lead to disclosure.

Tracey decided to change her DSA-funded support to Diverse Learners after receiving informal support via Twitter and liking our self-care posts.

Here is Tracey’s post on Self-Care:

“Self-care is an indulgence" "Self-care is a waste of time" "Self-care is unnecerssary"

Which of these statements about self-care do you think is true? Actually, none of them is true. Self-care is essential; it gives you the space, time and care that may be missing from other aspects of your life. We, as humans, spend too much time ‘doing’ rather than ‘being’, and we can lose who we are without even knowing it.

Realising the Importance of self-care

Tracey's tweet about wishing she were a duck.

Finding self-care has been the largest component of my mental health recovery. I had spent so much of my life aspiring to be this person that I thought I should be – dressing in a certain way, talking about certain subjects in company, overthinking the smallest of things – like which dishes to wash up first because of the amount of grease in the washing up bowl.

So much so that when my mental health deteriorated last year, I also went through a stage of questioning, “Who am I?”

Reframing your mindset

With the help of Kerry and Andrew at Diverse Learners, I was able to reframe my view of self-care, as I had been overthinking the whole process. What is self-care? How do I do it? Surely there’s a deeper purpose to doing it? What are the finer details of ensuring this works? What if it doesn’t work? When, actually, it was as simple as stopping ‘doing’ and starting ‘being’ whilst listening to my body and its needs.

My head would scream at me to study constantly, even though I had no idea what I was doing with my study plans, so I would simply step back for some self-care. When I returned to study, the answers felt as though they magically appeared.

(Self) compassion

Take today, for example, I had plans. To be honest, I had self-care plans that, sadly, didn’t pan out. The plans included having a study skills session with Kerry, where my head was telling me that it was an appointment; I cannot not turn up for an appointment.

After that, I was to meet a friend for a relaxing meal at a posh restaurant in town as a self-care treat to help me unwind after the exams. Sadly, on top of adjusting to a new medication which causes drowsiness, man-flu hit. It was Kerry’s kind and caring tweet saying that if I wasn’t well enough, I could rearrange the appointment that caused me to stop, realise she was right, and burst into tears.

At this point, self-care plan B kicked in: I walked (in the rain, which I don’t really like), fed the ducks, listened to some music, meditated, and relaxed with a lovely homemade lunch. The day could then, unfortunately, continue without the meal with my friend, though. So even if you need someone else to tell you to rest, listen to them. Their views are just as important and valid as your own mindset.

Plan it into your day

It is important to plan self-care time, not just when things feel stressful and anxious. If you plan some downtime in advance, you can help reduce any anxieties down the line. This is especially so when studying; otherwise, you could end up doing nothing but reading, writing, and pulling your hair out because you don't quite understand what is being asked of you.

It will become second nature to look after yourself, and it develops self-worth in your mind and body. Put it in your diary when you plan to do some self-care, plus list what you are going to do, then do it. No excuses, do it (or plan B-it if need be).

Create a toolbox

A walk by the river, taking photos, really helps me

I always have a plan B for self-care in case the original plans don’t quite work out, like what happened today. Even if it’s a walk in nature, a long hot soak in the bath or by turning off all social media while you read a fictional book, keep them in your self-care toolbox for emergency use.

My personal favourite is to walk along the river with the camera and take photos of what is around me, and even have a little natter to the cows in the farmers’ field; they’re good at listening!

Share your experiences

Remember, everyone’s self-care is different, and it’s important to explore yourself and find what works for you, just like finding your own study technique. By sharing your experiences, you can help others who may be struggling with the idea of stopping from the world and taking time out, reframing how they see self-care.

Your tips can also help those with less experience of self-care to try something new and invigorating.

From left to right: Andrew is getting ready to tootle around the Yorkshire back roads, Kerry is getting outside, and Kerry is enjoying the ocean view.